Solitudine, in memory of my first lover

Solitude

I see a tiny light from the a distance hill, from a hut that cannot be recognized so far off but for sure a peacefully within a lonely old man alike me..

I wish to spend the rest of my life at this valley, close to the limpid river where it runs between the bushes and the water flows as if with a mind of its own.

So whenever the night comes, clear and cold, I will sense the wild flower's  fragrance while warming my self next the wooden fire.

I wish this happened when I retired and returning home, preparing  a place to lie down late as my time's  lamp almost gone out.

Preparing a beautifully sleep,  amid the sound of water flow from a small ditch in front of my home and noisy song from the birds returning to perch on the old pine tree, together.

I remember when promising to my lover to come home in next two months but i could not, even when she's gone without a trace on previous  March, Last year.... I was not at her side.

The rain in the hills at night overflows the small ditch in front of our small home and my thoughts become uncomfortable because i am lonely at this moment and I fall a sleep.

In my dream you were far apart in hereafter, I found it hard to call you, but to write this essay under a tiny candlelight and I wake up..

I stared at the bright moon, feeling my tears drop and wishing to come home when the moon like a bow and goes again at dawn without a trace.

Beneath the moon, when all wild orchid blossom had fallen,  I feel the same regret tonight as one long year ago,  and my arms wet from wiping tears.

When the moon shines brightly in the night, my frosty grey thin hair blows loosely in the wind, no warmth has yet returned and i found my self lonely again in the morning 

Syafuan Gani
in memoriam of my late wife

February 2013

Doha, Qatar