Lament of life

Lament of life

When I was born, I came alone, Mom struggle her life under the candle light
Brought nothing, but naked and cried, wrapped, surrounded by smiling happy faces.

I'm a lonely newcomer in worldly life, Going to cheers and enjoy the life, With siblings, lovers  and family.

My Life comes in sudden appearance and  turning a pond with springtime face, into rippling waves of reddish beach, under pal trees.

I look into my self for knowing what the reason of my being, One day will be aging and my Love died, I am lonely a gain.

What I did know, ., what I did not know, What I will be, where will I go

I do not know , because I am a lonely , just a lonely man, waiting for my time to come

  

Summer had broken with clouds fading,  a sudden drizzle start before showing a clear sky of dawn.

I see a flowing  water to the pond, to fertilize  wild tulip's flowers where  it's blossom pistil  scatter thru the wind,  fluttered and drifted down back to the garden of flowers

In peace, smile and good faith of Allah…… I am just a lonely man, travel to the  worldly. 

I am a lonely man freely flying within reddish cloud in the sky, drifting to the west, then chanced to a shadow.

My  heart beat slowly,  rippling slowly,  but not to  be amazed by the shadow of drifting white cloud.

Whatever that be, it's mine to remember , never ever forget to my devotion

When one day, my time comes, I would go with smile, take nothing at all but my clean soul, one day….  It will

For long time you have been waiting for our date at the gate of heaven where river flows from green valley to the open sea.

But I dont show up yet up at the gate and whisper to you to wait passionately.

My hairs changed to grey, even thinner ….covered by desert dust, wondering  can you recognize me when we meet

I am a lonely , just a lonely man, waiting for my time to come, going back to God Almighty, my creator

Since you passed away, I feel a great lost, could not put the feeling aside nor to forget either.

In the middle of night , I have dream you brought me to our home, our red bed room in silence and we just stared each other.

Our tears started to flow, I am lonely to come and  you are lonely waiting for me in  a moonlight, night’s deep without end.

A solitary grave is not far away, sorrow beyond  nowhere I could dream again .

You have been waiting along the scented path, teasing me in dream, and pinching the pistil of a wild red orchid flower.

Our ultimate  life has always been a dream with  good old days and new laments of love  in garden of paradise, have  many a sigh in the air.

I am a tired traveler alone, seeking my way to my final  home, to redeem our loneliness.

I do not know , because I am a lonely , just a lonely man, waiting for my time to come, going back to God Almighty, my creator

I dream, wearing a flower as a hair pin, my lover's passion turned on the part of a romantic lover.

She parted with my sorrow remain in a dream of fog, counting the time passed, under sun in a hazy smog and under moon dark cloud,  I’m shocked, i am lonely.

Sun set hiding behind red clouds , a pale moon rising over the dark sea, watching the same,  loath this endless night.

In this pale moon light, no care for candlelight, i wish  i stepped at silence beach  and feel dew on the ground and find happier night in my dream.

Had I known more traces of tears on your cheek, missing your lovely smile, I would have sit next beside you for that parting moment when you passes away

Festivity in happiness,  I sing with a single wish to bring, I wish we’re always together, staying together year out, year in

I am a tired traveler alone, seeking my way to my final  home, to redeem our loneliness.

I do not know , because I am a lonely , just a lonely man, waiting for my time to come, going back to God Almighty, my creator

I feel a lonely night in solitude, endless nights with dawn overdue under the same blue sky.

We are separated far and wide with a dream can I freely reach your flowery grave

My love, I fill my dreams, our only liaison, tender like water, with passion, stepping on the bridge of sorrow, joining our hearts to the end of time our affection.

My life now turned cold since parting with my beloved even the sun is already hanging there.

I wanted to say many things, but refrained, as my lover leaving without any goodbye, travel afar, lost in a maze of  clouds, gazing and feeling crestfallen day after day.

A gentle wind blowing the air in late evening hours in between pines and bamboo tree, moving leaves under moonlight, with sound of  water flowing thru small ditch,  in front of our house.

Though the rainy season was no more, flowing water keep running in our small ditch,   as of my heart, I still wait for my time passionately and continue to stay lonely

When one’s life is ending, do not let your time pass, facing the hereafter with an empty faith but  lonely men as of old with true faith promise to meet his lover in front of paradise gate

I am a tired traveler alone, seeking my way to my final  home, to redeem our loneliness hereafter, as no one understand me.... no one.

Syafuan Gani

End January 2013

Doha, Qatar