Remembering

Ignorance

Remembering everything about, not letting me forget, lay silently in your arms, traces of an ancient myth.

Remembering the way you pulled me closer to warmth, to love, to the one I've left behind

Remembering how you would hold me tighter and speak so gently, portals of memories, so sweet, so bitter.

Remember your smile too well it lingers in my mind, the lost shadow haunting me, vanished, replaced with all the lingering memories.

All of these days , nobody see my heart wound, painful, lost from my mind, hearing your  voice, shadow in my dreams

All alone in the night, even some stars makes it bright , back my grey hairs, who cares,  feeling all of all pain and the wound because of the love

Living lonely by myself, caring myself, self-sufficient, self-serving, self-assured, self-disciplined, self-righteous, self-seeking, self-willed, self-evident, but not  being selfish, self-less. Indeed.

Living lonely by myself, fighting my self, against sadness, against my hurts, against the evils of this life stresses and against feelings of love.

Living lonely by myself, thinking myself ,  against my family, against cultures, against tradition and against depression.

Living lonely  by myself, thinking  myself ,  against  loneliness, against my foes or my friends, against lovers innocently.

Living lonely, by myself, wondering my stupidity of blindness, of torment of hatred, of ignorance, of neglect of judging, procrastinating, of criticizing about the fail 

Syafuan Gani
in memoriam of my late wife

end of February 2013

Doha, Qatar